so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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