i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
