the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
