My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Come see our sink grown plant.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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