Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
