just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
