my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
