dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
time to smoke my breakfast
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
