They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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