did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
