did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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