His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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