Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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