Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
