Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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