I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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