I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's just like the Real World with babies
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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