last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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