So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
