Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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