I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
