just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
