he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
