Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
...so i touched it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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