I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
