Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
