apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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