Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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