A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
