Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize