The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize