4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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