Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

(413): View more from Massachusetts

and it's going to stay that way

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot

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(740): View more from Ohio

the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.

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(631): View more from New York

You only like me because I'm a challenge

(201): View more from New Jersey

You already blew me

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(530): View more from California

before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice

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(705): View more from Ontario

I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.

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