Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
