i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
