shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Less talking, more tequila
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.