Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on

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  (915): like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on http://tfl.nu/aizw
  Replies (7) Good night (4416) Bad night (1017)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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  (724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em
  Replies (12) Good night (3726) Bad night (1081)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous

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  (808): she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous http://tfl.nu/8uf4
  Replies (15) Good night (5683) Bad night (1348)
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  (805): View more from California

  100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.

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  (805): 100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun. http://tfl.nu/nptp
  Replies (5) Good night (2081) Bad night (996)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad

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  (850): I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad http://tfl.nu/g5mj
  Replies (8) Good night (2057) Bad night (1021)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

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  (910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1933) Bad night (1316)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet

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  (812): He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet http://tfl.nu/4ir7
  Replies (7) Good night (2591) Bad night (790)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Penises. Everywhere.

  (772): View more from Florida

  You're. Welcome.

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  (813): Penises. Everywhere. (772): You're. Welcome. http://tfl.nu/k2kj
  Replies (5) Good night (2341) Bad night (599)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.

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  (413): he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/bd7x
  Replies (3) Good night (1417) Bad night (410)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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  (832): I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM! http://tfl.nu/isug
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (315)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?

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  (609): I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian? http://tfl.nu/utza
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (513)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone

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  (281): I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone http://tfl.nu/gqya
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (297)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned

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  (305): I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned http://tfl.nu/trme
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (542)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?

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  (785): Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too? http://tfl.nu/g36a
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (270)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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  (609): If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days. http://tfl.nu/rcu1
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (220)

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