Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (1104) Bad night (4422)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4744) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.

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  (917): I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out. http://tfl.nu/g8zl
  Replies (27) Good night (5462) Bad night (2606)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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  (443): and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp http://tfl.nu/f0ut
  Replies (32) Good night (2002) Bad night (4525)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4624) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.

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  (812): Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs. http://tfl.nu/yev1
  Replies (9) Good night (3086) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.

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  (217): I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well. http://tfl.nu/junb
  Replies (5) Good night (1152) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.

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  (847): I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am. http://tfl.nu/8371
  Replies (1) Good night (1180) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass

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  (301): I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass http://tfl.nu/ww71
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words

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  (704): She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words http://tfl.nu/kxrj
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Yea we just broke up

  (914): View more from New York

  so do we start sexting now or later?

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  (917): Yea we just broke up (914): so do we start sexting now or later? http://tfl.nu/8x1o
  Replies (12) Good night (1208) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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  (239): This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries. http://tfl.nu/qlqz
  Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.

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  (732): When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell. http://tfl.nu/3h5a
  Replies (0) Good night (911) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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  (920): We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started". http://tfl.nu/xqcg
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"

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  (425): Apparently I'm a "fire hazard" http://tfl.nu/xnbz
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (241)

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