I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
