We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize