I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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