Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
