I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
