Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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