you would pick up someone in the library
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
