..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
