Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Randomize
