the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
