Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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