So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
