nut hugger
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize