The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
