I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
