Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
