it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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