Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
