pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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