so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
