Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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