Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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