smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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