You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
