He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
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Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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