is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
