I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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