roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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