How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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